I almost FORGOT

God Forbid that I was too wrapped up in my work. I totally and utterly forgot that Chinese New Year was just like, get this, 2 DAYS away. Yes. not months or weeks, but DAYS. I cannot believe it.

Now, this is the first year ever that I totally was not prepared for Chinese New Year. I was just all, yay, Waitangi Day, which is, just about, THE most important day in NZ history. EVERYTHING revolves around it. Well, I think it's the 2nd most revolved around thing, after RUGBY... Which doesn't say alot. But still. My point is: PUBLIC HOLIDAY, duh.

Now, on to the greater, better news, Waitangi Day is on the 6th... yes, Chinese New Year starts on the 7th :O I totally neglected to acknowledge this fact >< I know now and I am still dazed. I can't believe it came so fast. I am so not prepared. I am so not ready for a new year... WTH...

oK. so I got a bit.. ok ALOT immersed in my new venture, which I am still freaking out over. Deadline is looming ><... ok, stop. breathe. Focus.

Chinese New Year is so important. It's tradition. It's ingrained. It has always been a BIG DEAL. and I mean BIG DEAL in our family. Thing is, this is also the FIRST EVER Chinese New Year where both my paternal grandparents will not be around to celebrate it with us. Because they are no longer here. I can't deal with that. Maybe that's why I totally blocked out the fact that this festival was coming. When they died, I guess the part of me that associated with family reunions and celebrations just died too. Because, the inclination to celebrate this year, is well, zero. Because now to me, it just seems like another year. One more year of our lives. Nothing new there. Years come and go all the time. Depressing much? Truth is, my grandparents seemed to hold the family together. All 15 cousins, and Aunts and uncles. now that the constant is gone, where is our common ground? We all took it too much for granted. It's safe to say that there will be no reunion dinner this time around.

I suppose that is how life is like, most of the time. We take it for granted, the people, the years, the whole 'assuming that every year, it'll be the same', taking comfort in routine, then suddenly, when something happens to throw it out of sync, we just can't deal. And then it truly becomes nothing more, because we took it too much for granted, up until the point of indifference. And it never again becomes truly important enough to go back to find it. We have, well and truly lost it.