I can't accept it. There's this thing deep down within me. That instinct that nags at me. About how things are supposed to be fair and everything but please please tell me, why this is so?

More and more, with every word, you push me away. I feel isolated. You're the one person who is just supposed to 'get me' but that's not true. If what I think, feel, want or need is "not what you think is right" then I am absurd for wanting it that way. I am spoilt. I am obnoxious. I am mean. I hurt you. I am selfish. I am greedy.

I strive to be the best possible person because I thought that that was what would make you proud of me, that I am yours and lucky that I chose you. And you would make me feel treasured. Admire what I do. Respect me. I do. I respect you, I believe in you, I care about you and I am so so proud of you. Always. yet, I don't think that you think of me in that same way.

Instead, it seems to me, that this would only serve to give you the right, the entitlement to tear me down, and dig deep into my flaws, and how I fall short. Who makes me feel bad about myself. Who makes me wish that i never picked up the phone and dialled in the first place.

you wonder why I don't tell you anything. I can't confide in someone I can't trust. Who judges me.

Half the time, I wonder why you're even with me. Was it because it's convenient. Or because we're just going along to get along. I don't feel special to you anymore. I used to. There was a time, when you looked at me like I was everything and more.

Everytime I think that it will be different.
This time, you won't tell me to forget it.
Maybe you will remember to tell me
that me wanting to hear your voice is enough.

How come it's wrong all the time.
Nothing means what it's supposed to mean.
I get that life is no fairy tale.
But that one phone call means that you're thinking of me.

When it's out of the blue, and not premeditated.
When it's spontaneous, to me, it's just you
thinking of me and suddenly just wanting to
hear my voice and that's enough for me.

But it's not enough for you.