When a guy tells you that he's not good enough for you, then he's dumping you

One of these days, I'm gonna go out there and get a life that I can call my own

I suck at pretending...

18

Wow.

Why is it that I sometimes feel so lonely when I'm surrounded by the many people that love me?

Is there something wrong with me?

I wish I knew.

It seems like I'm supposed to know where I'm supposed to go. But really, in this mumble jumble of a life, I have no idea.

I want to act my age, I don't want to be burdened with responsibility. I'm supposed to be partying like other 18year olds and going crazy over bands and hot guys... What's wrong with me?

Instead I'm scared over my results for law and what subjects I need to take in order to graduate... sigh.... This is crazy ><

wow... and it has been how many years? Really? wow.

Story of my life. It seems pretty predictable, go to uni, go to lectures, come home, study, exam, holiday then repeat.

My friend was asking me the other day what I wanted to do in life, and I was like, travelling. yeah. that's the best part of life. I wanna go out there and just experience it. Spain. I want to be on a beach in Spain. And then I confessed my dream to him, that what I wanted most in life was to be a writer, that I would go and live on some deserted island all by myself, self reliant. Just to be on that island, by myself, sleeping under the stars. That was just my idea of bliss. It would be my escape, my very own piece of paradise.

I'm such a loner. Maybe I'm meant to be a loner. All my plans have only me in them, seldom with anyone else. When I daydream, no one is in it except me. What does that mean? That I don't belong to people? Weird thing is I want to belong to someone, anyone, one of those, so and so and Lynn, be associated and whatnot... LIFE IS TRES WEIRD. And Sad.

Maybe if the multitude of human feelings were less, if we were less capable of feeling and knowing so much, life would be simpler.

One of these days....