It's been awhile since I have been able to just sit and not think about anything at all. It's been pretty hectic lately, crazy crazy stuff.

So I just put on some music and headed over to my blog to do some reflection. The brink of everything seems really daunting. Like I have it, I see it, I know it's possible. But there is also the possibility that I might lose it. I don't want to lose it. It's a scary feeling...

So someone said to me. The flower, it's in your hands, and it could either blossom and grow, or it could wither. And that was scary. I could kill the flower or make it grow. Something so fragile. It takes alot to make a flower grow, the water, the sunlight, the soil, the fertilizer, and it's so beautiful in the end that it's all worth it. But still, it's fragile nonetheless. I don't want to destroy it. But am I able to make it grow? I wish I knew. I want it to grow, I want to see it blossom. But if it does, it won't be of my own accord, the thing is, I'm a small, tiny bit in this whole large process, it doesn't matter to me, which part, just to be part of the process, it's overwhelming. To be able to create something so beautiful for everyone else to enjoy, to be able to do that, is just too big for me to comprehend. It means I can make a difference, no matter how small I am, even if I was a tiny ray of sunlight or a tiny drop of water, it helps.

And this is me, this is who I am. I am what I want to be. I want to make things happen, be able to make a change, no matter how small. I know how it feels, the heady sense of anticipation. But I'm biding my time. I'm waiting for the right moment.