Left Behind

People grow out of people. Lately, it seems like everyone is growing out of me. I'm left behind. I'm alone. I'm left staring at their backs as they leave. I want to scream why? Why did you even bother in the first place, if you were going to leave anyways. WHY? Why leave something behind that will only haunt? Why let me trust you only to be let down and disappointed? Is that how it is with you? To let me trust you and then you disappoint me? Why does it seem like everyone's leaving? And I'm the idiot, running, chasing something that isn't even there.
why the hell should I care, when you don't? I wish I knew.

Is it that simple? That easy? Just to leave like that. Not caring. I don't know what's real anymore, or what isn't. How can something so real suddenly disappear. Like it wasn't there in the first place. That's scary. Why is it the moment that when I finally feel comfortable enough, the moment disappears. Why am I not allowed to enjoy it? Is it too much to ask? Why does it always get snatched away? And I'm left staring at this huge gaping hole that it left. I don't like holes or gaps. But lately, that's what life feels like, a huge holey space.

Why can't someone just pull me out of it? AND NOT push me back in. I don't want to keep falling down and having to get up, it hurts and it's painful.
And right now, I don't even know how I am supposed to get out of this one. I know I can, but I don't want to. Who cares anyway? If I was there or not, would it even make a difference? I don't know and somehow I doubt if anyone would miss me. That's a sad thought. But I don't know anything anymore. And I don't want to know. I don't need to know. I just don't care anymore.