Thinking again

I wonder. I heard someone say that they would give up all the long letters in the world if it meant that they could have just one short note from the person that meant the most to them. If this isn't an example of quality over quantity, I don't know what is. lol... but it's true... somehow, that one word just means so much more.

So yeah, makes u think about how much importance u place on things, with intrinsic or extrinsic value. e.g. a diamond would not mean as much if it wasn't from the one u loved, heck if that person gave u a rock, it would hold more value than any diamond could. I guess the point in this is that, we try to find ways to justify how we feel all sentimental about things, or why we shouldn't throw them away. But somehow, I wonder if attaching all this feeling to inanimate objects is more of a burden. yeah, u keep it, yeah, u remember, u laugh, but what if remembering makes u sad? Is it better then, to just throw away and forget or to keep and look back.

I'm very selective about what I remember and what I don't. One way or another, I make myself forget all the sad parts, like pressing delete and that's it. It means I care less, and am more cold, less prone to grieving over lost memories. But somehow, I feel like I'm missing out on something, it feels void somehow, like all this stuff is still there but I think it isn't and it builds. I guess now, I'm just wondering when I will burst. Maybe I see it as a way to stop feeling vulnerable, so people can't manipulate my feelings, because if u can't "see" them, and I don't show it, then u'll never know. And I won't get hurt ever. But then, there are times when I feel that maybe feeling a little pain is worth it, that it's expected, that it's human and it's ok. And I'm not weak, I'm just being me.

So, I guess things do lose value, that new things come along and are 'worth' more, and all the old stuff just isn't worth hanging onto anymore. And I guess, from the object's point of view that, it must hurt. So much that it is unimaginable. I mean. imagine that u are a rock and suddenly a person thought the world of you, then the next day, u find that, really, ur not, and u become worthless, common, just like that. It's fragile, easily broken, and so so difficult to fix because how on earth do u convince the rock that it's a diamond again? denial, lies and euphemisms, masks to protect. But the truth is there, sometimes, it is so blatant that it is missed so easily and yet when u look hard for it, you can't see it. But it's there, I guess we just have to use our hearts as eyes and not what we think is there or convinve ourselves that what we want to see is what is in front of us.